So, what's new with you?

Oh how I loathe this question. It seems to be the most commonly asked question, meant to open up conversation. But I hate this question. I really never know how to answer it. Probably because what's new with me is this:

and this:

and this.

It really not exciting to talk about....or listen to for that matter (except for maybe Joel, but not all the time). I guess I find it hard to answer the question simply because my days are often filled with laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, pumping breast milk, preparing dinner and looking after Joel.

I never really realized how lonely motherhood can be. Days and hours are filled busying yourself around the house, cooking and cleaning. On occasion, you get a break to blog, read a book or take a walk. But mostly my days are filled with tasks that need to get done to make the household run. I purposely try to get all those things done so when Dan gets home, we get to hang out and talk. (Poor Dan, his ears must hurt by bedtime!!!) But the reality is, I don't have anyone to talk to, except Joel, who can't talk back yet. And even when he learns to talk in a year or two, it isn't adult conversation (yes, Joel! that is a doggy!). I remember when I was nannying Cypress and River up at their house in the boonies, that the one time we got to go to a play group, I was so excited to talk with another adult. Yep, that conversation about yeast infections was the best thing ever!

So when people ask, what's new with you? I get discouraged. I wish I had more to share. I wish there was so clever antidote to share other than breast milk stains your clothes. Now I know why mothers often feel as though they have lost themselves. Your entire life is serving and taking care of others.

So for Lent, I decided not to give up anything (although giving up some cleaning and cooking would be awesome), but to add something to my life. I decided that I would try to do things that I enjoy doing. I am trying to blog, read, scrapbook and just relax more. I am trying to stop wasting time on the Internet or watching daytime TV, and do all those things that I've given up for 3 months. This isn't a regimented daily task I must complete. Every parent knows that the best laid plans are often foiled (yah teething!). But just a desire to feel more like person and less like a mom.