Pondering and treasuring things in my heart

This year, we took an unintentional break from blogging. Sometime early in the throws of newborness, blogging took to the back burner. I had intentions of starting up again, requests even! But somehow life got in the way. Blogging became less of a priority. Sometime in early September, as we adjusted to have a kindergartener, I realized that I was choosing to take a year off of blogging. A maternity leave of sorts. It gave me the freedom to finish off 2015 without worrying or stressing over blogging, giving me another four months to adjust to life before blogging again.  Now, a year after Caleb is born, I hope to return.

2015 was a year I wanted to savour. Having what could possibly be our last child, I wanted to savour those newborn days. I wanted to "ponder these things and treasure them up in my heart," just like Mary did after the birth of Jesus. I wanted to remember. 

I want to remember how when Caleb was a newborn, he hate being naked and would scream loudly. But as soon as you put even just one sock on, he would calm down. 

I want to remember how we got to dream feed him (third baby's the charm!). We would gently wake him up to feed him right before Dan and I went to bed. We could feed him in the living room with all the lights on. But my favorite part and the part I desperately want to remember, is when I was done feeding him, Dan would put him over his shoulder and carry him down the hall to bed. Caleb would peek his little eyes open and occasionally give a slight smile, while being carried away. Dan would lay him in bed and walk away. The look he gives me every night is precious. The fact that we can lay him down and walk away is miraculous. 

I want to remember how when Caleb started solids, he would always give us a sour face. Even if he like the food he was eating, he would make a face. He did this every day, at every feeding until he was ten months old!

I want to remember how Caleb sucks his fingers. He always sucks the middle finger and ring finger on his left hand.

I want to remember how dramatic he is. When with a stranger, he may cried inconsolably. But as soon as he is back in my arms, he will stop. With one deep breath, his crying will cease. I call it my magic trick. It annoys Dan when Caleb does it to him. Caleb will cry for ten minutes in Dan's arms, but immediately once in my arms, he will stop. Not a few seconds after being in my arms, I'm talking the very instant. Its hilarious!

I want to remember the relationship Caleb has with Joel and Micah. I want to remember how Joel can stop Caleb from crying just by looking at him. Or how Caleb loves playing with and pulling Micah's hair. I want to remember how Caleb looks as Joel carries him down the hall. Always with a huge smile!

I want to remember that the only way to check to see if Caleb is getting any new teeth is to check when he is screaming. Even then, its difficult. That's why this morning, while at the grocery store, I took the opportunity to check out his new teeth while Caleb screamed in the produce aisle. (For the record, he's got 4 new eye teeth and an impacted molar on the way).

I want to remember these things and so much more. So I have pondered and treasured these things. I have stored these memories in my heart. I have savoured each moment as it happens. These little things are what make him unique. And my goal was to remember them. And I have.

So, I took the year off away from the blog. To rest. To enjoy my family. To ponder and treasure. But I will hopefully be back. We've got a fresh new look, a new little one to blog about, and hopefully a few stories to share. Let's journey together and walk through life's adventures.

The World According to Micah

Dan: Micah, did you poop?
Micah: No!
Dan: Then what's this brown stuff in your diaper?
Micah: Sand!

The World According to Joel

Joel was looking at Caleb and then exclaims, "Mommy, Caleb's nose is polka dotted!"  (Caleb had baby acne.)

Grandma: (picking up Caleb) "Come here squirt!"
Joel: Grandma, he's not a gun.

Amanda: (talking to Caleb) Come here porky!
Joel: Mom! That's not his name. His name is Caleb Elijah!

Caleb's Birth Story

Sunday, January 4th (my due date)
I woke up on my due date and issued an eviction notice. Caleb had 18 hours to vacate the womb. I gave him until midnight to GET OUT! (Didn't really think that it would work....but I had high hopes.)

That morning was snowy. The boys went out to play in the snow, while Dan and I watched the neighbours attempt to make their way up their driveway (they failed epically). We discussed our options about heading to church. Dan was up for staying home, while I was desperate to get out of these four walls. I had been cooped up here for far too many weeks in case of quick delivery (and being too uncomfortable to go far). We decided that if the van made it up the driveway, we would head to church. Lucky for me, we made it up without any issues. (The neighbors have bald tires).

The rest of the day went on normally. Church. Naps. Dinner. Then things changed. I started having contractions at 5pm that were 10 minutes apart. Pre-labour. AGAIN. For days, I would have prelabour from 5-9pm. (gee, that's reminiscent of Micah's birth as well). In fact, the day before, I told Dan that tonight might be the night (I was wrong).

From 5-7pm, the contractions were 10 minutes apart. We put the boys to bed at seven.
Then from 7-9pm they were 6-8 minutes apart. Rach (my friend and midwife), called earlier to ask how I was. We talked it through, but I wasn't convinced this was the real thing.

At 8:15, Tina (my other midwife) called to discuss my contractions. They were both concerned since I've had a history of fast labors, and the roads/weather was bad. There was freezing rain and slushy conditions. They asked if they should come. I told them, no. I didn't want people hanging around in case the contractions stopped. They decided to call back at 9pm to see how I was.

At 9pm, I had one epic contraction where I actually felt the baby "head down." When Tina called back, I still thought this would fizzle out. In fact, after that one big contraction, it took 12 minutes for the next one to arrive.

At 9:15, things changed. The contractions change immediately to 3 minutes apart. After 2-3 contractions, I told Dan to call Tina and Rach. This was the real thing and it was going to take time for both of them to show up because of the bad weather.  Little did I know, but Tina and Rach were on the phone discussing whether they should break my water to "move things along" when Dan called to say this was definitely labor.

Every 3 minutes another contraction would come. During this time, I was in the bedroom standing over a towel, thinking that with every contraction I was pissing myself. Later when Tina showed up, she tested my "urine." It was in fact my fore water. Cuz, you know, I had TWO waters! My water had broken! This was the real thing.

We spent the next hour or so laughing our way through contractions. At one point, I was humming haaaaaa. Dan comes by and asks if I'm singing the hallelujah chorus. At which point, I break out in song. Dan and I were laughing hysterically when Tina walks in the door. She actually asked if I was in labour or if this was a joke. Nope, I was in labour. It took until Rach walked in for her to realize that I like to laugh when I labor.

We joked around, telling funny stories, while I laboured and they set up equipment. This was the first pregnancy/labour that was not frantic. There was time to set up equipment and to test oxygen etc. It was a pleasant experience.

But still, deep down in my heart, I had doubts and fears. Every time, the midwives would put the Doppler to my belly, I would hold my breath, thinking that they wouldn't find a heartbeat.  I feared delivering a stillborn. But every time, they would reassure me that everything was fine. A nice steady heartbeat. As time went on, I started to believe them. I was going to have a nice healthy baby.

We continued to joke around and enjoy the time together. Dan was texting Katrina back and forth, since she was praying for us during this experience (and totally curious about what gender we were going to have!) I laboured continuously, laughing between contractions.  I was watching the clock as well. This baby had till midnight.

I remember thinking, "This is getting boring. Time to move things along and get this baby out before midnight." The midwives had offered to break my hind water, knowing that I was stalled at 7cm. At 11:15ish I agreed to get the party started. They broke my hind water with the warning, "The next contraction will be more intense."

Well, with that contraction, things got intense. No longer were things funny. I remember being soooo hot. Dan went to get a cold washcloth and I was worried that when he went to get it he would miss the whole thing. Hello transition!

I finally climbed onto the bed on all fours. With the next contraction, the baby went from being above my pubic bone to on my perineum. Hello painful!!!! The midwives kept telling me "to let your uterus do the pushing" in hopes that I wouldn't tear. Easier said than done! If the thoughts in my head could have come out! Yikes! They weren't the ones with a baby's head coming out!

With the next contraction, the head was out and the following one, at 11:41pm, the baby was out. I heard Dan ask, "What is it?" I looked down and much to my surprise, it was a boy! I was super excited! Throughout my pregnancy, I secretly thought it was a girl. But I didn't want to set my hopes on either gender, for fear of disappointment. But as surprised as I was, I was genuinely excited to be a mom of three boys!

10 minutes later and the placenta was out. One stitch and another small tear....not bad for the third time. (in fact, if I was a first time mom, they wouldn't have stitched me at all. But because I was going to be up and about, lifting kids, they wanted to ensure a speedy recovery).

Within two hours, the midwives had left. Our house was cleaned up, the paperwork was finished, breastfeeding established, baby weighed and measured.

We had our healthy baby boy, born on his due date, before the midnight deadline. Praise the Lord!

The First Ounce

The first ounce of many.

 From henceforth, the slow commencement of freezer takeover has begun.

Our daily routine includes washing numerous storage bottles, multiple times a day. 

An average of ten ounces a day is stored away.

Over 240 donate-able ounces ready for the milk bank.

Another 20 ounces stored for personal use.

A few bottles ready to be stored in the fridge.

The question, "Mommy, is this sanitary?" answered multiple times a day.

Freezer space slowly running out.

That first ounce.

Introducing...

our third little boy:

Caleb Elijah McCrimmon

born at home

on his due date, January 4th, 2015 at 11:41pm.

He weighs 8lb 6oz and was 21" long.

(Joel was 7lbs 9oz and Micah was 8lbs 9oz, both were 21")

Mismatched Boots

A common occurrence in this house: mismatched boots. The boys virtually wear the same size boots (only one size separates them), so they "share" boots all the time. In fact, having the boys were the same two boots is rare. They prefer to share. I have absolutely no problem with this, especially since they can dress themselves!

Advent

One of our goals this Christmas, was to spend time praying for others. We enjoyed it so much at Easter, and again at Thanksgiving, that we knew that it had to be a part of our Advent celebration. (Plus it was something that would be easy to do if we were blessed with the early arrival of our new baby....or if I was too tired/sore to do other activities).

We had pre-written names on angels, and added two (or more) almost every evening. It was so neat to see the "heavenly hosts" grow each evening.

The boys have really enjoyed this activity. They love picking a new angel and finding out whose name is on it. We have had to stop dinner multiple times to pick an angel. Once the angel is on the wall, we have to" pray again for the people." It's been neat to see how important this activity is to Joel and how much he has grown through it.

Alongside our prayer wall, we have also lit the advent wreath every night. The boys adore this...but probably because they love blowing out candles. Each Sunday (and sometimes during the week if Joel insists), we say a special advent prayer. I found a child friendly advent prayer that is basic enough for the boys to understand. They seem to enjoy it.

We also read a Scripture (Joel calls it a "criwsper") a day. The Christmas story was broken down into short readings, followed by a question. We have loved hearing the boys answer questions ranging from "Who is Jesus?" to "What brings you joy?"  It has focused our meal time conversation and allowed us to dig deeper into Scripture as a family. It has also allowed us to peek into Joel's brain and see what parts of the Christmas story he is retaining and how he has translated it.

As if a prayer wall, advent candles and a Scripture weren't enough, we also had an advent activity calendar. It was filled with Christmas activities ranging from driving to see Christmas lights, to crafts, to reading a Christmas story. Oddly enough, this calendar was the first to be thrown aside.  We found ourselves too busy this month to add those types of activities to our lives. Between midwife appointments, chiropractor visits, birthday parties, the last few days of work and various other Christmas related activities, our days were too busy to add a craft or story to our lives. Or rather, the boys had no desire to do any. On the days we were home, they just wanted to play. So, about 3 days in we scraped the advent activity calendar and never looked back. Sure, we did do a few activities, but we never stuck to the day to day activity. I knew at the beginning of the Advent season, that I would give myself grace, and not force ourselves to do the activity if it became too much. What I didn't realize was that it would become overwhelming earlier than I expected. But, it was a blessing in disguise. We have spent more time together as a family, putting together puzzles, chatting about the future or putting Legos together. It was a blessing in disguise.

This advent season has been full of blessings. One of our main goals was to have the boys know the Christmas story by the end of December. We also wanted to focus more on Jesus and less on anything else. And also to spend time together as a family. 

We have accomplished those things and so much more. We have felt the richness of the season, as it embeds itself into our children. We have seen their wonder grow as they ask poignant questions and answer ones we ask. We have seen the importance of prayer and praying for our friends and family. We have seen Jesus infiltrate our lives and remind us of the real reason for the season.

Joel-isms

Joel (and Micah) were in a time out for fighting.  I told Joel he needed to apologize to Micah for hitting him.  Joel goes up to Micah, but doesn't end up apologizing. I tell him again that he needs to apologize and Joel says, "I keep trying to apologize. But every time I do, Micah keeps putting his eyes away." (aka....not looking at Joel). I guess he's finally taken our request to look people in the eyes (especially when you apologize) seriously.

After this incident, I was reminding Joel that it is never okay to hit in my house. He turns to me and says, "But mom, its not your house. It belongs to Darnell and Christina." Seriously kid!  You got me on a technicality. I rephrased my statement to include the fact that we never hit. Ever.

Time Out

We got the boys a nativity set last year so they could play the Christmas story. For some strange reason, the angel Gabriel refuses to stand up. This frustrates the boys to no end.  So this year, they took matters into their own hands. This is where Gabriel spends most of her time. In Time Out. When they play nativity, and Gabriel falls over, they send her off to time out until she is ready to stand up properly....or until they forget about her and run off to play something else. It never ceases to amaze me, the creative things these boys come up with.