Advent

One of our goals this Christmas, was to spend time praying for others. We enjoyed it so much at Easter, and again at Thanksgiving, that we knew that it had to be a part of our Advent celebration. (Plus it was something that would be easy to do if we were blessed with the early arrival of our new baby....or if I was too tired/sore to do other activities).

We had pre-written names on angels, and added two (or more) almost every evening. It was so neat to see the "heavenly hosts" grow each evening.

The boys have really enjoyed this activity. They love picking a new angel and finding out whose name is on it. We have had to stop dinner multiple times to pick an angel. Once the angel is on the wall, we have to" pray again for the people." It's been neat to see how important this activity is to Joel and how much he has grown through it.

Alongside our prayer wall, we have also lit the advent wreath every night. The boys adore this...but probably because they love blowing out candles. Each Sunday (and sometimes during the week if Joel insists), we say a special advent prayer. I found a child friendly advent prayer that is basic enough for the boys to understand. They seem to enjoy it.

We also read a Scripture (Joel calls it a "criwsper") a day. The Christmas story was broken down into short readings, followed by a question. We have loved hearing the boys answer questions ranging from "Who is Jesus?" to "What brings you joy?"  It has focused our meal time conversation and allowed us to dig deeper into Scripture as a family. It has also allowed us to peek into Joel's brain and see what parts of the Christmas story he is retaining and how he has translated it.

As if a prayer wall, advent candles and a Scripture weren't enough, we also had an advent activity calendar. It was filled with Christmas activities ranging from driving to see Christmas lights, to crafts, to reading a Christmas story. Oddly enough, this calendar was the first to be thrown aside.  We found ourselves too busy this month to add those types of activities to our lives. Between midwife appointments, chiropractor visits, birthday parties, the last few days of work and various other Christmas related activities, our days were too busy to add a craft or story to our lives. Or rather, the boys had no desire to do any. On the days we were home, they just wanted to play. So, about 3 days in we scraped the advent activity calendar and never looked back. Sure, we did do a few activities, but we never stuck to the day to day activity. I knew at the beginning of the Advent season, that I would give myself grace, and not force ourselves to do the activity if it became too much. What I didn't realize was that it would become overwhelming earlier than I expected. But, it was a blessing in disguise. We have spent more time together as a family, putting together puzzles, chatting about the future or putting Legos together. It was a blessing in disguise.

This advent season has been full of blessings. One of our main goals was to have the boys know the Christmas story by the end of December. We also wanted to focus more on Jesus and less on anything else. And also to spend time together as a family. 

We have accomplished those things and so much more. We have felt the richness of the season, as it embeds itself into our children. We have seen their wonder grow as they ask poignant questions and answer ones we ask. We have seen the importance of prayer and praying for our friends and family. We have seen Jesus infiltrate our lives and remind us of the real reason for the season.

Joel-isms

Joel (and Micah) were in a time out for fighting.  I told Joel he needed to apologize to Micah for hitting him.  Joel goes up to Micah, but doesn't end up apologizing. I tell him again that he needs to apologize and Joel says, "I keep trying to apologize. But every time I do, Micah keeps putting his eyes away." (aka....not looking at Joel). I guess he's finally taken our request to look people in the eyes (especially when you apologize) seriously.

After this incident, I was reminding Joel that it is never okay to hit in my house. He turns to me and says, "But mom, its not your house. It belongs to Darnell and Christina." Seriously kid!  You got me on a technicality. I rephrased my statement to include the fact that we never hit. Ever.

Time Out

We got the boys a nativity set last year so they could play the Christmas story. For some strange reason, the angel Gabriel refuses to stand up. This frustrates the boys to no end.  So this year, they took matters into their own hands. This is where Gabriel spends most of her time. In Time Out. When they play nativity, and Gabriel falls over, they send her off to time out until she is ready to stand up properly....or until they forget about her and run off to play something else. It never ceases to amaze me, the creative things these boys come up with.

Veteran Parenting Mistake

Don't ask me how we didn't get this sooner. It was 37.5 weeks into our pregnancy when I had the brain wave.


You see, I kept getting "kicked" by the baby in a rhythmic fashion. I kept saying to Dan that the baby is kicking me in a heartbeat pattern. We kept wondering what was up with this baby. Seizures? Rhythmic baby? Weird kicking pattern?


Nope. At 37.5 weeks, I FINALLY figured it out. Hiccups. The baby has hiccups.


Yep. We forgot about something so simple. I guess somehow in the 2.5 years since Micah was born, we lost the brain cells that remembered that babies in utero have hiccups.


Oh veteran parents.....how could you forget?

What's been happening?

We have been busy these last few months...prepping for baby and preparing for Christmas. Literally, we have been anticipating Christmas since October.




Needless to say, blogging has taken a back seat. I have either been too tired to blog, to annoyed with the new way to upload pictures, or too busy searching for Christmas ideas. I am trying to get back on the bandwagon. I have literally written 5 or 6 different posts in the last few weeks. Unfortunately for all of you, they have been written in my head at 2am. Sadly, they have not been typed out. And when I go to type them up, my brain goes blank. Nothing. Not even an idea of what I should be sharing. Such is life.




An update (of sorts): We are currently 36 weeks pregnant. Anywhere from 4-6 weeks left in this pregnancy. (Please Lord sooner!) This pregnancy has been physically fairly easy (aside from the morning sickness), but emotionally very difficult. We have had a few "complications" that so far have turned into nothing. We were measuring about a week ahead for most of my pregnancy. Suddenly, at 32 weeks, I was measuring 3 weeks ahead. They did something called a "ripple test." Basically, they tap your stomach and watch it ripple. If it ripples, there is a risk of extra amniotic fluid, which can be dangerous. Some complications involve cord prolapse or the placenta separating from the uterus during labour. Or genetic defects including kidney problems or cleft palate. The fear of these things sat with us for almost 3 weeks. We were sent for an ultrasound to check for those types of abnormalities. When we had our ultrasound, the amniotic fluid level came back normal, as did the size of our baby. But they did a test with the cord, and the test came back inconclusive. Basically, we've been told not to worry (haha...very funny). I go back at 37 weeks for another ultrasound. If it comes back fine, we'll go ahead and wait for baby to arrive on its own. If it comes back with a problem, I will have my care transferred to an OB, with the possibility of induction (if things are really bad).




All this to day, these "complications" have brought a lot of fear into our pregnancy. We already have felt so much fear, after our miscarriage. We felt fear during the first 12 weeks, worrying about another miscarriage. We felt fear when the baby didn't start moving until almost 24 weeks (Joel moved at 14, Micah at 16). We felt fear when I started feeling lightheaded and dizzy, almost to the point of passing out, especially when sitting for long periods of time (driving became dangerous, and we had to stop travelling for long periods of time, which was anything over 40 minutes). We felt fear when I injured my tailbone by accidentally sitting on a garbage can, worried that I broke my tailbone. And then we worried about amniotic fluid levels and now problems with the cord. This pregnancy has FEAR  written all over it. But oddly enough, its also had the word PEACE plastered over it. Its a both/and situation. We feel anxious about things, but also filled with Peace. We know that we have friends and family all over the world praying for this little baby's safe arrival.  We trust that God's perfect plan will come to fruition. We pray for this little baby, for its delivery and for our hearts. That whatever happens, our hearts will be prepared for it and be filled with Gods immeasureable peace.


For this entire pregnancy, I have never been able to picture myself having another home birth. My imagination always took me to a hospital--most often Abbotsford. Which, unless there was a serious complication during our homebirth, is not the hospital we will deliver at. We are registered at Langley, since that is where my midwives have privileges. It has bothered me the entire pregnancy. Then yesterday, I had a regular midwife appointment. We talked about the "complications" we were having. My midwife reassured me that they aren't concerned at all. She even handed over our homebirth kit. Something about that simple act, gave me confidence and peace. Suddenly, my imagination was able to picture a homebirth. In fact, I got quite excited about the possibility. I took my list home of what to have on hand and got straight to organizing it (hello type A!!!). I headed out to the store that afternoon to purchase my waterproof mat for the bed. Here I am, the following day and I sense my excitement building. I am ready to  have a baby.


This. THIS is the peace that only comes from God. That a simple act of handing over a homebirth kit could put my mind at ease. That my fears have disappeared. That I am excitedly anticipating the birth of our next child.


"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." Luke 2:14

Thankful Tree

This October, we decided to put up a thankful tree in our house. Every night at dinner, we would write down on a leaf what we were thankful for.

The kids have GREAT imaginations and it was interesting to see what things/people they were thankful for.

Pine trees, sticky tack, and puppies all made the list.

We watched as the tree filled up with beautiful leaves and sentiments of thankfulness.

Grandma, friends from church and all things nature made the list.

It was always interesting to hear what the boys came up with (love that seahorses made the list).

The boys loved the project and it was with gratitude that we thanked God every night for the items on our tree (yes, even napkins or pots and pans)

Our completed tree.

A little taste of what was written on the leaves.

Ebbs and Flow

I feel as though as a parent, there are times of ebb and flow. Seasons that change as your child grow. Sometimes, you sail through life and parenting is easy and enjoyable. Other times, every day is filled with challenging parenting moments and you wish you could fast forward a few months.

We are in a season of challenge. I know that in a month or two, it will change back into a season of enjoyment. But seasons of challenge are well...challenging. And when you have a spirited child, they are even more challenging.

Currently, every demand is met with a challenge, or a negotiation. "Put on your shoes" can take 15 minutes. Sometimes we are met with a negotiation or downright defiance. Even when we implement the warning system (five minutes till we put on our shoes!), we are still met with defiance. Its extremely exhausting. We have to be creative at times to get things done or to have obedience. We are tired.

We know that one of our children works at their own pace. He goes against the flow and toots his own horn. We love him for his creativity and the observations that he makes. But sometimes, we just wish that we could focus his creativity on the task at hand. We've often joked that dinner time would go much faster and probably be more enjoyable for us if we could seclude him in a black box. A bug, the wind, his brother, creativity are all distractions. Sometimes a crab or lobster (his hand) will come to the table with us but we can never get the crab or lobster to take a bite. Its frustrating to all of us.

The hardest part (right now) is the defiance. A simple request can warrant a tantrum, negotiations, manipulations or defiance. Almost every single time!  We often hear the words "....and that's why I can't do it." This phrase is usually proceeded by some creative excuse. The toys are in the way. My animals wanted to (insert excuse).  I need to (excuse here). Seriously kid! Just put on your dang shoes! Or get dressed! Or pick up your toys! Or stay in your bed! Or get in the van! Or stop colouring on the table!

Every transition during the day is rough. Sometimes, we feel as though we need a few more tools in our parenting toolbox in order to parent this child. We do our best with what we know, but sometimes during these seasons of challenge, we feel inadequate.

But often, before we are consumed by our inadequacies, we either gain more skills to cope or we flow into a season of enjoyment. We know we are doing our best. But sometime during these seasons of challenge, we feel overwhelmed. We are exhausted. We are tired of negotiating.

My mom gave us a comic strip, Grand Avenue, that we put on our fridge that perfectly describes our life.

The Grandma (the caregiver) is telling the child, "Why am I always negotiating with you? I'm the adult-I make the rules. Yet every time I ask you to do something, you start in with bargaining and haggling. So you're going to be punished. March straight up to your room."

Child: "Can I skip instead?"

It makes me laugh. But when you deal with it in reality, its not as funny. But its our life. And our child. We don't get to have it any other way. Not even if we try negotiating our way out of it.

One of those days...

You know its going to be "one of those days" when...
...you're the first in line at Starbucks, waiting for the store to open and you've already been awake for over an hour
...you tell the barista that you want the really big one, with pumpkin, that's cold because you forgot the words, venti pumpkin spice frappacino
...your eldest child's first proclamation of the day is, "Today, I'm going to be disobedient!" and proceeds to follow through with it.
...the only words you hear out of your toddler all morning involve whining, crying and basic gibberish, none of which you understand therefore leading to excessive meltdowns and more tears
...its 10:30am and you've already changed 4 poopy diapers (3 more to follow), all belonging to one child
...to correspond with the excessive poop, there is snot everywhere. All you do is wipe, praying that this will be a mild cold and that it will be gone by the weekend
...naps only last one and a half hours. You would think that after being awake at 4:50AM that they would sleep a little longer.

After naps, things start to look up. I baked pumpkin cinnamon rolls, and prepped the dough for nutella stuffed cookies with the boys. Dan came home earlier than expected. We had a really nice afternoon (minus disobedient child and his stance on obedience today) and the kids were in bed early. (They didn't stay in bed and it took 1.5 hours to get them to calm down enough to go to sleep, but at least they were asleep before 8pm. Plus, they slept in until 6:20am the next morning!)

Thank goodness for coffee!!!

We love our neighbours

This reads: To our favorite neighbors. Please enjoy this foreign chocolate from Switzerland. This was a gift from Simon's boss. Thank you. From Harry and Simon. 

 We found this stuffed in our mailbox at the end of June. It was gift from the two boys who live beside us. They are super sweet young men who always take time to give us a wave or chat with our boys. Two days before we received this in the mailbox, they brought over leftover birthday cake from Simon's birthday to share with us. We truly have been blessed to be in this neighborhood.  People look after one another and care for each other.

When a different neighbour lost her husband suddenly, there was no shortage of neighbours bringing over food and condolences. Every night, we watched neighbour after neighbour bring over dinner for her to eat. We actually had to wait a few nights before there was an opening for our family to bring over dinner! But watching this all unfold was a blessing to my heart as well. We realized that our neighbours are important people who care for one another and look after one another. Still to this day, we watch as neighbours stop by to chat with her or take the time to look at pictures of her husband. She has expressed to me how much this means to her.

Our neighbours are awesome. In the words of Joel, "they make my heart sing!"

We're a weird family

Yep. Not only did we make jam while on vacation, we also foraged for huckleberries, and a few blackberries, at a rest stop. It didn't take us long and we had a snack trap full of them. We didn't get very far down the highway and they were gone. A delicious and nutritious snack...especially since taking fresh fruit over the border is a no-no.