Fort to Fort Trail

On Saturday, we went to Fort Langley and walked the Fort to Fort trail.

9 km of pure joy. Okay, that's not really the truth. Amanda was dying from some intense contractions courtesy of the walk. But on the upside, the baby did drop and nestle itself low in her pelvis. Although that is slightly painful when trying to hike up some of those killer hills.

Joel enjoyed some barefoot time on the side of the road. Okay, the reality is that we wanted to keep him in the stroller as long as we could (since it was getting late) and that meant he needed his shoes and socks off. It was getting chilly, but this kid loves to be barefoot. He was content for most of the walk back from the Fort and definitely enjoyed his time away from the stroller.

We even told him to play in traffic (something my mom constantly told me as a child). We didn't think he would listen! Luckily there were no cars and my mom has a swift response.

Is she nesting or just plain squirrely?

She started packing stuff away, but its not for winter-its for our next baby (still a month away from the due date). Since Sunday, when this "nesting" instinct hit, she has been on a bit of a food preparing rampage. In the 3 days since, she has made 24 loaves of bread, enchiladas and a large lasagna. On top of the all the goods that she has made in weeks previous, our freezer is stocked. Then add all the stocking up on groceries that she insisted that we do, equals one full house.

Add to that, all those little things that pile up on your to-do list that never get done and we have been two busy people. The home birth supplies have been gathered, the bench fixed to prevent Joel's fingers from being squished, bikes repaired (sorta), ink for the printer for those baby announcements, batteries bought for all those baby contraptions that suck power and a new wet bag for all those dirty diapers has been ordered.

We are now ready to have this baby, or a zombie apocalypse....whichever comes first.

Oh wait! We still need to: insure and air care the van, plant seeds for the garden, buy Mother's Day and May birthday gifts, finish the final bits of our purge and strip those cloth diapers. And last but not least, we still have bagels, granola and pizza to make. Hopefully not while she's in labour-especially not the bagels!

Amanda's terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day

Yesterday at church, the book "Alexander's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" was read for the children's feature. Today, I feel as though I might be living one of those days.

10:45 AM Peeled myself off the couch, so that I could use the facilities and then go and prepare lunch for River, Joel and myself. I was planning a lovely grilled cheese sandwich to go with the Broccoli Cheese Soup that was sitting as leftovers in my fridge. I was very excited about the soup and sandwich....a total pregnancy craving.

10:46 AM While relieving myself in the bathroom, I hear this horrible crash, followed by shattering glass and a wailing child. Knowing that my beloved pot lid just broke and Joel was in the midst of shattered glass, I began screaming for him to stay still and not move. Did I mention yet that I am currently suffering from a cold that has rendered my voice pretty much useless? So trying to scream with barely a voice for a 16 month old to not move....yah. That didn't really work well. I quickly finish my business as thoughts of a young child crawling through shards of glass, bleeding from every orifice filled my mind. Luckily, he was so shocked by the noise of the glass shattering, he hadn't moved. I quickly made my way through the glass tsunami to Joel, picked him up and assessed the damage.

10:48 AM I'm yelling at River to not move, as he was trying to pick up shattered glass that happened to make its way all the way from the kitchen into the living room where he was playing.  All the while, trying to console a screaming one year old and remove little pieces of glass from his hands. Luckily there was no blood and no cuts. Just shards of glass covering his hands, which I quickly washed off.

10:50 AM Joel is still screaming, probably startled by the noise of the glass shattering and his mother's response. I barricade Joel and River in Joel's bedroom with the baby gate and attempt to clean up the mess. But Joel's screams are too much for this woman, and her child takes precedence. I distract Joel with toys and attempt to go back to sweeping up the glass chunks.

11:00 AM I spend a few minutes sweeping up the large chunks of glass, going back and forth between cleaning and consoling a child. I finally realize that Joel is not going to calm down until he has my full attention. But I'm in a bit of a time crunch since River has to leave for preschool in an hour and we still need lunch. But we can't have lunch until all the shards of glass are removed from the carpet and lino. Literally, the pot lid spewed itself in all directions and no where was safe for the kids except Joel's room. So, I let my child wail. And I cleaned. All the while wondering if I should call someone to help me.

11:05 AM I pull out the vacuum and start the long drawn out process of vacuuming up shards of glass. Side note: the vacuum does not suck up chunks of glass which happened to be all over the carpet and refused to be swept up. Time seems to fly by, Joel seems to scream louder and the glass doesn't seem to be going away.

11:18 AM I finally ask River to clean up the toys that are all over the living room, with specific instructions to shake all the glass out of them first. Yep.....a 5 year old shaking out glass chunks onto the carpet. I'm carrying Joel, just to shut him up while I continue to vacuum. Did I mention that I'm about 6 weeks away from delivering my second child? This isn't an easy task without a leech attached to you, let alone with one crawling all over you.

11:20 AM I get things under a bit of control and strap Joel into his booster seat. (Basically, vacuuming and caring a child is a bit of an impossible task this far in my pregnancy). The last bit of vacuuming is done (which pretty much involved a deep clean of the entire house....an upside of the whole situation perhaps) and I attempt to get lunch for the kidlets.

11:24 AM I've pulled out whatever leftovers I have on hand and prepare to feed the kids. River gets leftover salad, his favorite..NOT! and Joel gets some apples to keep him happy. I try to make a bit more substantial lunch for the kids....a quick sandwich for River and Joel and a nice BLT for me.

11:38 AM I finally sit down after preparing lunch and encourage River to keep eating his veggies quickly since we have to go. He puts a bit of veggies on his fork (mushrooms.....what are those he asks?) and puts it in his mouth. Then the gagging begins. The fake puking. And all the while, I'm telling him to just swallow it down (he's eaten mushrooms before and liked them). Its just one of those antics hes pulling to get his way. So I'm firm with him...and he gags. Then the cough/vomit/gag turns into a semi spew and I now have mushroom spit all over my sandwich. Awesome!

11:43 AM Things calm down a bit, and I tell River he has to finish his last bite of veggies before he can go pee. (that was my first mistake) But he had an empty mouth and we can't waste time....we only have a few minutes before we need to go and he still has an entire sandwich to eat. So, in goes the veggies as he runs off to pee.

11:46 AM "Oh no!!!! I did something bad!" River says. I'm thinking he has spit out the veggies, but no.....there is pee ALL OVER THE FLOOR. He attempted to pee in the toilet, but forgot to lift the second lid. So, now there is pee all over the floor, his pants and my bathmat. This sends this pregnant woman into gag fest, as I try to remain calm and get him to clean it up, all the while trying to keep my lunch in its proper place.

11:53 AM Clean up of the pee finished. Lunch nearly complete. A mad scramble to change Joel's diaper (luckily no poop!), get kids shoes and jackets on and out the door. Try to clean up lunch quickly, so that I can come home and have a nap after dropping off River. The other upside of the whole situation: the vacuum is still out, so lunch cleanup was a breeze.

12:00 PM Out the door and on the road to school.

12:20 PM Nancy (River's mom) comes out the get River. She asks how the day was. I said it was okay. He had a 1.5 hour nap this morning (good) and not so good since he peed his pants. She does a quick inspection and realizes that he is soaking wet and we don't have back-up clothes. Then, my day changes again. Can I take him home, wash his clothes and hang out with him all afternoon? NOOOO! But yes! The upside: 3.5 hours of extra money. A free load of laundry and a Starbucks as a bribe from Nancy. The downside: another child for a few extra hours, a harder time putting Joel down for a nap, having to do laundry instead of taking that nap.

3:00 PM Here I am, no nap under my belt and pretty tired. River in my bedroom watch Mythbusters. Joel sleeping. And a strong desire for chocolate cake. Perhaps, the day wasn't that bad, now that I'm a few hours removed from the chaos. But I still miss my pot lid. And I think I'll make that chocolate cake....perhaps after I fold that laundry. Maybe after that nap.

Puddle Jumping

The other week, we had a crazy rainstorm. Okay, really its B.C. It had been raining for days and the kids were driving me crazy. So, one afternoon I suited Joel up (complete with rain pants) and took him outside. I sorta expected him to stay in the parking lot, jump in the puddles and then go inside. But Joel had other plans.

He took off down the sidewalk (and finally I just let him in the huge puddles on the street). But just as I did, the rain came pounding down. And a few seconds after that, it came even harder. I'm just in my shoes and rain jacket and I was soaked in seconds. Dan even took this nice video (from the protective cover of the parking lot) of me with this sad face saying in a mopey voice, "I want my rain pants."

But I couldn't leave Joel alone outside and he was having too much fun to take inside. Plus, I was drenched and it really just wasn't worth putting on rain pants anymore.

So, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! I just HAD to teach Joel the art of puddle jumping. He definitely was giggling the whole time. And then tried to copy me. But he doesn't know how to jump yet, so he basically walked into the puddle, kicked the water a bit and got out. It was hilarious! The one puddle was so deep that it was up past his ankles. But he didn't care.

He loves being out in the rain, and even more so loves being out in the puddles. When we came in,  I was drenched from head to toe, as was Dan who finally succumb to the rain and took pictures for us. Joel, on the other hand, was relatively dry. His hands and face were frozen, and his shirt was wet (apparently his jacket leaks). But it was a fun afternoon in B.C.'s famous rain storms.

Good-bye Kraft Canada, Hello Whole Foods!

When I was learning to cook, I turned to those free Kraft Canada magazines for inspiration. I was desperate to learn (we had to eat after all) and my mother was in no position at that time to teach me. So I read the recipe and made numerous dishes that we survived on for months, perhaps even years. It was so easy to adapt recipes for the meat or vegetable I had on hand, with their handy "choose this meat/veggie" and add this boxes.

But I have turned over a new page in the cookbook. Or perhaps just removed a few pages from my repertoire. You see, Kraft Canada has this insatiable need to use its own brands to make meals. Which means that cream cheese, salad dressing and any other Kraft product often stars in the meal. But they really aren't that healthy or tasty. They were good for that stage of my life, but its time to say good-bye Kraft Canada and hello whole foods.

I have learnt to adapt recipes and make them healthier by adding spices and broth, instead of salad dressing. I have learnt to exchange cream cheese for a healthier white sauce. I have slowly over the years learnt to bake bread, starting with a complete white loaf and then transitioned to a whole wheat mix with flax and oat bran. And just recently I have grown my own sourdough starter and made sourdough bread.

I have changed from throwing cream cheese into everything to making my own ricotta cheese and yogurt. Perhaps in the coming future, I will try my hand at making my own cream cheese. I have changed from opening a can of high-salt chicken broth, to simmering chicken bones and making my own homemade stock. Meals take a lot longer to prepare. But they are definitely better for me. Perhaps because I can usually pronounce all the ingredients that I'm putting into the meal. Or perhaps its because I know what I'm putting into my mouth.

Now don't get me wrong and think that we are some hippie folk who eat crunchy granola all the time. Because that is definitely NOT true. We both have a sweet tooth and enjoy baking delicious goodies. But we also have those special "conveinience" foods that we still enjoy. In fact, one lady at Dan's work often comments that "it must be slim pickings in the McCrimmon household" when Dan takes a can of Chef Boyardee to work. But oddly, we do enjoy that barf in can. We enjoy Cheese Whiz and the occasional laminated cheese slices.  We still enjoy a good mushroom/tomato soup straight from the can. My pasta sauce is a mix of crushed tomatoes and tomato paste, rather than made from fresh tomatoes (probably because fresh tomatoes are rather expensive). We still have a lot to give up if we were to be considered complete hippies. But that doesn't change the fact that we one day dream of having our own chickens and being able to buy a half cow at a time. 

We are constantly learning of more things every day that we can make ourselves. Some of them have significant cost savings and taste good. Those stay in our lineup (like chocolate syrup for example). Others, just take too much time to make, like homemade pasta and are reserved for special occasions.  Other things, like refried beans, didn't quite taste the same homemade and we have reverted to buying it canned (although, we will try a new recipe in the future and see if that changes things). Its been this slow journey to refining our tastes and eating habits.

But just a short time ago, I went through my cookbook and ripped out all those Kraft Canada recipes that we never make. It was liberating. I replaced them with recipes for whole foods, like sourdough bread, yogurt, and ricotta cheese. Dan and I have felt that this has been a slow transition, taking almost 6 years so far. And every few months, another thing changes and we refine our lives again. This has been a good change for us and we've enjoyed the journey and process its taken. Plus, we now eat much healthier food....or at least food with ingredients I can pronounce.

Another "we'll never do that as parents" fails

Last night, for the first time in Joel's almost 16 months of life, we tried to drive him to sleep. Sadly, we failed. He basically spent the 30 minutes or so we spent driving eating crackers, trying to push all the crosswalk buttons and chatting to himself. Dan and I just tried to stay awake long enough to make him tired. It was 1:30am after all and we'd been up for three hours with him. Did I mention how much we hate his gassy nights? I guess we'll just add this to the list of things we said we would never do as parents and actually did. It can sit there right along with sleeping in the same bed and letting him cry it out. (By the way, the last one doesn't work either! Come to think of it, neither one works well. Maybe the lesson to be learnt is don't give in!)

Big Boy Bed

A week and a half ago, we purchased a big boy bed for Joel. We figured it was best to get him used to sleeping in it before the new baby arrives...and if it didn't work, we at least had a few more months to transition him. It took us two days to put it together (Ikea, how we loathe you and love you all at the same time). We purchased a bunk bed, but only put together the top bunk, with the rails around it to prevent Joel from falling out of bed. Joel enjoyed helping hammer it together.

Joel's first time climbing on his bed. We think he loves it!

A little play time, turns into a lot of playtime. He really doesn't want to get off the bed. He loves it too much. He actually has to show all his friends his new bed.

"I'm sexy and I know it..." 

And yes, he does actually sleep in his bed. In fact, he does really well. It was barely a transition for him. The first few nights he woke up a bit scared, wondering where he was, but it was nothing a quick cuddle couldn't fix. He's slept through the night a few times already and has only really woken up due to extreme gas or teething pains (which is really normal for him). But mostly, he is excited to go "nigh, night" in his big boy bed.

Bazinga!

Inspired by Sheldon's Ball Pit Bazinga! 

Joel took it upon himself to do the same with his stuffed animals. BAZINGA!

Celebrating your child

Its not that I have felt discouraged or anything. But sometimes, a woman just needs a bit of a pick-me-up to make herself feel better. Lately, I have found a lot of encouragement in some of the blogs I read on a daily basis. There has been a series on parenting children with special needs. Now, I know that I do not parent a child with special needs...but I find that the messages in their blogs have transformed my thinking and feelings. Two in particular have spoken about parenting a "high-needs" baby and raising "spirited children." Its not that Joel was a particularly high needs baby or that he is even a spirited child. Its just that I have found a lot of relief from hearing other parents struggle with some of the same things I struggle with daily. Let me share some excerpts:

 "I had just been with several friends that had babies around the same age. Their babies sat still and contented in car seats or their mothers' arms and then quietly drifted off to sleep. The moms spoke of babies sleeping five, six, even eight hours at a time at night. All the while my Baby was squealing, standing, bouncing, looking all around, arching, nearly doing flips off my lap and definitely NOT sleeping. Keeping him fuss-free for the hour and a half felt like a physical and emotional wrestling match."

How many times did I feel like that? Joel has always been a mover and a shaker. Sitting still is an anomaly.  Yes, he does/did eventually snuggle and fall asleep in my arms. But I often feel as though my child is the only one in the room bouncing off the walls and terrorizing the place. Often as a baby, he refused to be put down. Sitting in a bouncy seat for more than 2 minutes? You've gotta be crazy! He just wanted to be held all the time.

"The 12 features of a High Needs Baby are intense, hyperactive, draining, feeds frequently, demanding, awakens frequently, unpredictable, super-sensitive, can't put baby down, not a self soother, and separation sensitive."

Can you say Joel?! Some of these have lessened in their intensity, like the frequent feedings.  But I still feel as though he is demanding, doesn't want to be put down (that is changing, thankfully), hyperactive and not a self-soother.

"He is our first baby, so it was easy to assume that he is what all babies are like. We didn't know anything different. For the longest time, when people would ask if he was sleeping through the night, we would look at them like they were insane. Babies don't do that! Do they? We now know that some do, but ours doesn't."

Amen! We really didn't know that any baby was that different. But now I do. And you know what? That's okay. We love Joel. He is such a joy and a blessing. Although, we still do wish for a few more nights of uninterrupted sleep.

"I always thought the concept of kick counts was just one of those crazy paranoid things 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' told you to do. Ten kicks in two hours seemed like a joke while I was experiencing twenty times that many around the clock. After he was born, I saw the source of all the punches to the inside of my pelvis during pregnancy. Whenever awake, Baby was very active doing what we call flappy jacks, flailing arms and legs constantly." 

Don't I know that concept. Kick counts? The opposite was more useful to me. Wow! A whole 3 minutes without being beaten alive. He must be sleeping!

"The day I discovered the term ‘spirited child’ was a day of great relief for me as a mother. It was the day I found peace with my first born son’s uniqueness.
As a toddler, my son seemed ‘more’ than other kids. He was louder, more energetic and active, asked more questions, seemed more sensitive emotionally and his behavior was infinitely difficult to manage. He was always the kid at mother’s group discovered rummaging through the forbidden cupboard, pushing another child over or throwing sand in someone’s face. His intense and unpredictable behavior was exhausting and at times, alienating. I resisted every urge to yell at him in pure frustration “What is WRONG with you?.” He just wasn’t like other kids. Well meaning friends and relatives were quick to offer advice. One friend even gently asked, “Well, have you tried disciplining him?.” Tried? I was trying constantly but he just would NOT respond like a ‘normal’ child. I often left play dates in tears and felt incredibly alone and at times guilty, that perhaps his behavior was a reflection of my poor parenting. I often wondered if I (we) had created a monster. The term ‘spirited children’ describes a proportion of children who are simply more intense, sensitive, perceptive and challenging than other children. I discovered there wasn’t anything ‘wrong’ with my son. This was all apart of the unique personality and temperament he was born with."

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing a good job parenting Joel. When other moms see me shrug and let Joel continue in his behaviour, I sometimes feel as though they think I am apathetic in my discipline approach. I'm not. I've just learned to pick my battles. To let things go.(Which for a type A personality, is a really HUGE lesson to learn). Its not that I haven't tried to discipline Joel. Its just that he doesn't respond the way other children do. The word "no" is really just an invitation to continue the behaviour with a smirky smile. A slap on the hand is responded to with laughter. As Dan's Grandma said about Dan's Father, "I could have beaten that kid to within an inch of his life, and he still would have continued the behaviour." And to be honest, that's how I feel with Joel at times. He's just a bit more demanding on me, and sometimes, I just don't feel like picking a fight. I can often see him calculating time verses distance...how long will it take mom to get here, before I can get into....

Joel is just a bit more demanding. He takes a lot longer to learn which behaviour is appropriate and which is not. He has a mind of his own. He wants what he wants, when he wants it. He is energetic and constantly moving. He doesn't play well on his own and if he does, its not for very long. He constantly wants attention. He doesn't calm easily (especially before bed). We've come to realize that reading books is not a calming before-bed activity. It causes him to get all excited. We've learnt that singing to him causes him to stay awake, whereas humming will calm him quickly. We've learned to adapt to Joel's crazy antics and encourage him to work along side us, rather than separate from us.

I have felt deeply encouraged reading other mom's struggles with their spirited children and high needs babies, and how much they have learned to enjoy them. I have learned well.. this:
“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.”-- Joan Ryan

God has blessed me with a wonderful son...and a wonderful world of bloggers who felt compelled to share their stories as encouragement to others. As I nod in agreement, laugh at similar circumstances and sigh with relief that I am not alone, I feel encouraged. I needed to know that there are others who struggle with their children. Its not that Joel should be labeled high needs or spirited, its just he shares some of those traits (or maybe he is....what do I know!) I am just purely thankful for the encouragement I have received. I am a good mom. I am doing the best I can with the resources I have. I am still learning. My son is the way he is, because God created him that way. And that is okay.

Snowy Owls

We went to Delta a few weeks ago to take a peek at the snowy owls.

What an amazing sight to see these beautiful birds up close in the wild.

 

The kids (all three of them) loved it. It was frigid, but the birds were a hit!