Disclaimer: Not to be taken too seriously. For you offenders, this is very serious business.....
(the following opinions have been provided by Amanda and Dan and are not the opinions of most people.)
The Rules Regarding Pants
#1. Leggings are NOT pants (especially when your shirt is so short that we can see underwear lines through your leggings)
#2. Yoga pants are meant for Yoga, not for everyday use. You do not live in the gym, therefore you should not live in your gym clothes. (this will help us think that you shower after your workout, rather than walk around all sweaty and gross)
#3. Pajamas are for the bedroom (or at least your own home). I had to get dressed this morning, and so should you!
#4. Mini skirts should not be so short that a 3 years old skirt contains more material. No one wants to see you who-ha, or anything close to it.
#5. Men, your crotch should be abouts where your crotch is located. It is not located near your knees. Pull up your pants and cover your underwear for goodness sake!
#6. Full length pants should be full length pants. They should not turn into flood pants the moment you sit down. Your calf should remain covered and not by the tube socks your wearing. The only exception is if you are too tall to find pants that cover your ankles. You are forgiven-we feel your pain.
#7. Pants should not be so tight that there is nothing left to the imagination. I really don't want to see your cottage cheese thighs or golf ball butt through your pants.
#8. Underwear, especially thongs, should NOT be seen above your pant line. That space is reserved for butt cracks, which should also not be seen, but are more tolerable than your underwear.
#9. Work out wear should be reserved for working out. (see rule #2)
#10. While wearing white pants, please refrain from wearing black, patterned,or coloured underwear. Thongs are not recommended either. White pants need to be sufficiently thick so as not to reveal what lies beneath. Please remember that it does rain often and white pants should be reserved for days when the rain clouds are far away so as not to reveal what is under your pants.
We retain the right to, add to or subtract from or otherwise alter, these rules at any time we see fit. Complaints department is on permanent vacation. Estimated wait time: longer than your lifespan.
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