The Russians AREN'T coming!!!

Thursday 11 AM: Arrive at ARC with children in tow, with hopes of seeing members of the Russian Figure Skating team. We stand in line. Make way up to special viewing area. Hopes dashed. Practise cancelled due to Russians going into Olympic Village.

Thursday 3:50PM: Arrive 10 minutes before practise is scheduled to begin, in order to get good seats. We stand and wait. And wait. And wait. Hope is fading along with energy levels and patience.

4:32 PM: Must leave to pick up children's mother from school. Still no skaters. Told there was a mix-up and practice starts at 5pm. Amanda starts to wonder if the Russians do free childcare.

5:13 PM: Arrive with children and mother, eating McDonalds french fries (since any other fast food wouldn't be allowed, as they aren't official sponsors). Finally see Russian figure skaters. Only to see the pairs team leave the ice and see one man remain on ice. Children loose interest in 0.5 seconds. Dan and Amanda are too exhausted to move. They watch skater (and children).

Hopefully, we'll see the torch. The first time we go. And the only time we go. Maybe the children are bad luck......

Come-In Community!

A few weeks ago, we had a married couple over for the evening (hi Matt and Rachel!). After a lovely dinner, the husband departed for his evening class at CBC while the wife and us decided to do a bit of baking. In just under 2 hours, we had collectively made: 2 dozen carrot muffins, a big batch of chocolate chip cookies, a batch of double chocolate chip cookies, and white chocolate raspberry scones. At the end, we divided the loot in half and called it an evening.
This past Sunday, another couple (hi Dan and Amy) were telling us about their new mattress that they got from a thrift shop for their two year stint in Abbotsford as MCC Service workers. The problem was that the mattress smelt a bit stale and like cigarettes. So, we offered up one of the many bottles of Febreeze we had collected in order to help alleviate the problem.
A few months ago, we got a knock at our door. It was our upstairs neighbour (hi Emily and Zoe) asking if we had some obscure baking item that she could borrow. Of course we had that crazy item, and lent it to her.
Even today, we got a call from a couple asking if they could borrow some tools to fix their bike.

So the point of all these stories is to provide examples of community that we are in, intentionally or otherwise. We've thought a lot about community recently, how important it is and what it is that draws us together. One of our friends asked us how our church was. It was interesting to note, that we talked about the community within the church as one of the main reasons that keep us there. The service, music, doctrine weren't that important to us. In fact, without the community that we have found at Emmanuel, we probably wouldn't have chosen this church to remain at. We can find service, music and doctrine at other churches, but the sense of community that you build into is hard to replace.
One of the things we love about our friends, is their ability to make themselves at home in our house. They are comfortable enough to rifle through our cupboards to find themselves a drink, a snack or some item they wish to borrow. This is something that we feel is an essential part of our lives and our home. We try to maintain an open door policy, which extends to our cupboards and freezer as well! We love that we have a friend (hi Colin) who comes to our place to relax, to take a nap on our bed, and to unwind from a stressful life.
We have found ourselves entering into a deeper sense of community. Its one that shares its resources, time, experiences and abilities freely. Its a community of giving, rather than taking. Its comforting to know that when you have a need, you can rest assure, that you will find fulfillment within your community. And in our experience, we have found the most fulfilling and rewarding part to be the giving. We love watching our friends faces when they walk away with a bag full of cookies, that barely make it to the car, let alone to their homes. But we also love to see the unexpected gifts that meet a timely need in our own lives. We truly believe that this is the way that God intended it to be. When you look back through Acts, you see people living in a true sense of community, sharing all they had, just like we are attempting to do nowadays.

It is February right?

Did I miss a few months and wake up in April? The calendar says February and the thermometer states that at noon it is currently 9 degrees, making its way up to 12 for the afternoon. Its ridiculous!

Yep...that's a window open. In February!!!! And I get to hang my laundry outside!



The groundhog earlier this week says that we'll be having another 6 weeks of winter. If this is what winter is like, I'm in! Bring out the Capri's and shorts!

Side note: The east just got hit with a HUGE blizzard! Ha Ha! And we're well into Spring...

Famousness!!!

We finally made it! We're famous!
Okay....reality. We are on the web, in pictures that people from all over the world are going to see. (thanks to the Olympics). Check us out! All of these pictures are from our summer trip up north on our Jetboat Adventure Tour just outside of Williams Lake.

http://www.aboriginalbc.com/ Check out picture #4 and 5. Those are from our tour this summer.

Also, check out my mom's picture! (The second picture is also from our tour!)

http//www.hellobc.com/en-CA/SearchResultsListings/ListingsDetails/BritishColumbia.htm?CATID=5039&LOCID=3&KWDS=&NBY=False&FLID=3&PN=1&PID=4558417

It takes a village...

There's a reason why its been said that it takes a village to raise a child. After a day (okay, week) like I've had, I feel like I need someone to bounce ideas off of and to get some support. I'm not even raising my own children, but I have been given the wonderful responsibility of helping raise other people's children. Tonight, I got on the phone with both parents and we discussed the horrendous behaviour we have been experiencing. It was wonderful to know that I am supported and that I'm not the only one experiencing this behaviour. It was good to know that we are all trying new techniques and willing to support one another to try improve the behaviour. It was also reassuring to know that the parents said if the behavior isn't improving, that they are willing to seek out a child psychologist or behaviour analyst to see if we can improve things that way. I'm just relieved since I'm so tired of the 40 plus minute marathon battles about everything, including eating, dressing, playing, potty training. I'm tired of the "I want my mommy" whines that I hear everywhere (including out in public!) about every that goes wrong. This is why mothers, father and caregivers need support from others. They cannot do this alone. That's why God created community. He wants us to meet with one another, support one another, and help raise each others children. Perhaps that's why when we dedicate our children or baptize our children, we ask that the church supports us in our decision to raise our children in the Christian church, by praying for us and supporting us in whatever way possible. Do you know of any family that could use your support? Your words of encouragement? A night away from the kids? Remember those families in your prayers-they need it. I guarantee it!

Run of the Mill Revelations

I find great excitement in vacuuming up crunchy sounding junk off the floor. But its also quite disheartening. My floor is that dirty??? So dirty that there are chunks?? Excitement gone. (insert sad awww.)

Parenting, Inc.

I picked up this book at the library the other day entitled: Parenting, Inc.: How we are sold on $800 strollers, fetal education, baby sign language, sleeping coaches, toddler couture, and diaper wipe warmers-and what it means for our children by Pamela Paul. It was a fascinating read (Dan just started and is at least half way through). The basic premise of the book is that most of what we spend on children and the way we view our interactions with them is largely based on material things and the "need" for education at an early age (prenatal-it doesn't get any earlier than that!).
Something we have noticed as a couple, is that children these days have EVERYTHING! There are books, videos, magnets, games that try to teach our children their ABC's and 123's at an earlier and earlier age. And a lot of this gear is marketed to the parents, claiming education or safety that doesn't necessarily exist. Can a DVD really teach your 6 month old to read? Or do we really need a monitor that tells you if your baby has not moved for more than 20 seconds in their crib in order to prevent SIDS? Or do we need that special toy that's meant to stimulate your infants eyes? Aren't we just setting ourselves up for a society that is burnt-out, over stimulated, or bored from lack of stimulation or ability to entertain themselves?
We, as a society, have way too much gear for children. One trip to a Babies R Us is enough to leave a person overwhelmed or running out the door screaming for back-up. What is it that we really need for our kids? Society screams that basic food, shelter and clothing isn't enough. We need to have more. Our kids need education from before the moment they are born? We are inundated with messages that we need stuff. And parents are a multi-billion dollar business. We are told that we need to educate our kids with the latest and greatest gadgets. DVD's that will teach our children fine motor skills, classes that are meant to further our children futures, and equipment that is there to aid our child's sitting/walking/talking skills. "Many parents indulge in products that are not just unnecessary for young children; they are products that inadvertently instill qualities those same parents say they want to avoid: materialism and superficiality. Materialism saps children of the resourcefulness and independence most parents want to cultivate in their kids.(page 213)." We have also replaced the need for family wisdom, with sleep coaches, doulas and parenting classes.We have lost our need for community; for meeting with other parents to discuss issues. There no longer is the spontaneous coffee drop-bys or meeting at the neighbourhood playground, but these have been replaced with scheduled meetings, scheduled play dates and any number of parenting classes. We have also neglected to take initiative in teaching our children the basics of learning. The ABCs are now taught by machines, DVDs or toys that make an abundance of noise. "The research shows that your child is going to be better at math and the ABCs if you play with them....they will be better at school and at life (page 169)."
Reading this book has caused Dan and I to once again challenge our views of parenting. What qualities do we want to instill in our children? We would love our children to live similar lives to what we grew up as. Limited toys that we valued, independent play, attachment to our parents, memories by experience, value of money, valuing friends for who they are and not what they own, education through imaginative play and communication with parents. It surprises me that quite often when we talk about our childhood amongst friends that favourite toys are brought up. Did you own the baby that peed in the potty? No! But I always wanted one, and the girl down the street had one. When I look back, I don't think I ever owned any of the popular toys, but I did have garage sale specials, hand-me downs, thrift store finds and an imagination that took care of the rest. I wasn't an unhappy or deprived child. I was quite happy and I didn't have very many toys. (In fact, I think I own more toys now, than I did as a child!) But for some reason today, parents equate things with happiness. And the more things our children have, the happier they will be. At the end of the day, our children will grow into what we shape them to be. As a couple, we see the model that society has given us and we don't want to raise our children up that way. Studies show that children with excess stuff, grow up to be impatient, "less satisfied with their lives, less happy, experience fewer positive emotions, report more depression, anxiety and alcohol use, and are considerably more narcissistic. They are also less cooperative, less likely to engage in positive social behaviours like sharing and helping and more likely to engage in petty theft. They are also more manipulative-children as much so as adults. (page 216)."
"Parents can take solace in the fact that rather than require thousands of dollars' worth of baby paraphernalia, their child needs only the most fundamental of parental activities: holding, singing, dancing, conversation and playing outdoors. With a priceless return on investment (page 218)." We hope that we can avoid falling into the trap that society has set out for us. We want to be assured that our children will not depend on money or things to bring them happiness, but rather they will find solace in intimate relationship, contentment with what they have and creativity and perseverance to deal with the hardships they will face.

Caveman or Metrosexual: Where's the middle ground?

In preparation for beginning our own family, we have started to do a bit of reading up on parenting, pregnancy and child-rearing. In doing so, we have noticed a disturbing trend. Either there is no information for fathers, or a small paragraph in a 400 page book that basically says suck it up and support your wife. When there is a little bit more of an elaborate write up (a whole page!!!!) it advises men to not faint during labour, expect a moody and hormonal wife with strange cravings that they should satisfy and that you may get sympathy symptoms. They say sympathy symptoms (called couvade) allow you to empathize with your wife and show her that you are committed in having this baby, but in reality she is likely to be far too engrossed in her own pregnancy to care about what you are going through (either that or she's puking too much to notice). This discrepancy expands to encompass the role a father should take in raising his child and being with his wife through pregnancy. It seems that men are grouped into one category in their role as fathers to be.
The stereotypical bubbling cave man who doesn't care about what his wife is going through and needs to be reminded that he should care for his ailing wife. Basically the man is portrayed as an idiot.
But we find that doesn't even begin to portray what we would like to be as parents. Whatever happened to the involved Father? You know, the one that reminds the wife about her appointments and joins her at every one. The one that goes to the birthing classes, reads books on pregnancy and child-birth. The one that shops around with his wife for baby items and even points out things that he likes or thinks they need. The one that talks to the baby while still in the womb. The one that gets up in the middle of the night to help his wife. Or the one who changes diapers willingly, without being asked.
What has happened to our society that when you do find these men, they are mocked and ridiculed for being less than a man? How is it that you can go into a library full of books, with shelves devoted to pregnancy and parenting, and find only a handful of books that address fatherhood with the perspective that the man is not an idiot? It's no wonder that we have a society full of bumbling cavemen-we've created them by emasculating those who try to be good fathers. No man wants to be a bumbling cavemen nor do they want to be a girly metrosexual parent. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground addressed in popular culture. What about those men who want to be involved---the ones we always dreamed of having in our childhood? The Bill Cosby of parenting. We know these men exist! We see them occasionally pop up, taking care of their kids, forming them into the young men and woman we know they should be. We only hope that as we contemplate taking the plunge into parenthood, that we can find similar men who share the values of parenting that we aspire to.

Is doing the right thing a hazard to other people?

I like (okay, LOVE) to drive the speed limit. But in doing so, I basically piss people off one speed limit at a time. Somehow in our need for speed culture, actually obeying the posted limits is an antiquated notion for most drivers that illicits rage. Case and point: the other day I was driving along, going the posted speed limit up by Abbotsford Christian. A man was tailgating me, obviously annoyed at my ability to follow the law. He proceeded to pass me in the bike lane (as there is only single lane traffic there). Did I forget to mention that I passed our beloved Gareth Brandt biking home in the bike lanes only a 500 meters ago? So, is my doing the right thing by following the speed limit, actually a hazard to those who bike in the bike lanes? I must admit that this is the second time in the last six months this has happened to me (at the same point no less!). So, is doing the right thing actually doing the right thing? Or would it be better for me to have been doing the wrong thing (speeding), in order to do the right thing (like keep the bike lanes clear and thus Gareth a little bit safer)?

Transitions and learning to LET IT GO!

I'm not one to make new years resolutions. I hate the idea of waiting until a new year starts to better yourself. I prefer to make resolutions as the year goes on and improve who I am in the process. Shortly before the new year started, I realized how high strung I can be. Okay, I've been learning this for years, but the solution finally hit me and brought the problem to the forefront again. I was watching Reba on the television and a conversation that occurred between Reba and Van (her son-in-law) really opened my eyes up to a solution. I know this sounds so elementary, but to those who struggle with being high strung, the thought of a solution can lead one over the edge. Reba was overwhelmed with some issue and Van said, "I have one word for you, LETITGO!" Reba answered, "That's actually three words." Van replied, "LETITGO!"
I find that I need to learn that. I need to LET IT GO. There is a line in a Great Big Sea song that reads, "Let it Go, let it go. This is smaller than you know. It's no bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road." For someone who worries about virtually anything and gets all strung out when things go array, this is a really hard lesson to learn. But I vow to try my best. When the kids are being slow and we are in a hurry, I've got to LET IT GO. When Dan leaves a dishes on the counter, rather than putting them in the dishwasher, I've got to LET IT GO.
I really believe that this will help me out in this next year. 2010 seems to be a year of transitions for Dan and I. Transitions and change can be scary and stressful. But I hope that learning to LET IT GO, will help with all these transitions. Normally I worry about this and that, what's going to happen and will things all work out. But this year, I hope to worry less.
There are a few transitions that we are anticipating this year. We are anticipating that Dan will finish school and hopefully get a position in a school system in September. We look forward to finally ridding ourselves of our debt from Dan's student loans. We contemplate adding to our family and anticipate the changes that would bring. We look forward to the first of our friends having a baby and look forward to meeting their new little bundle of joy. We know that the upcoming loss of my job is apparent, and struggle with the consequences of that. We anticipate journeying with our Bible study group, through new experiences and friendships. There is a lot going on, but we hope that this year will be one full of wonderful changes. And when stresses pop up (cuz we all know they will happen), I hope to let go of the stresses and focus on what is good. Worrying about things won't change the outcome. I need to put my trust in God and realize that He is control of all things. Worry about them won't add an hour to my life (I'd probably loose more than that worrying about things!) So, please remind me when I'm stressing out of that one word: "LETITGO!"