Conversations with AmanDan

Dan and I were talking yesterday about the impending birth of our new baby. We are both getting a bit antsy to have it arrive as we feel our lives are on hold until it does. It really is hard to live life when you worry about when and where and how fast this baby will arrive. Can we go for a walk around the block? What is our contingency plan if we go into labour? How will we get home? So we've been trying all means necessary to get this baby out. We've tried mother's cordial, spicy food, walking, eating pineapple, sex and nothing has happened. Dan commented yesterday, "We've tried everything they've said to do and still no baby!" To which I replied, "We have one thing left to try: patience."

We'll let you know how that turns out. But initial responses weren't favourable.

All I want is a number

The downside of giving birth so fast to Joel is that I never got to be 'so many' centimeters dilated.  I know it sounds weird, but with this pregnancy, I really wanted to be 'this many' centimeters dilated.  I really just want a number. A number that I could share when I retell our birth story..."I was 6cm dilated when they checked me and then a few hours later I was fully dilated and told to push." Something like that.  I know its silly, but its a desire I have.
So this time around, I got my wish. Last week, when they checked me I was 1-2 cm dilated. This week 3-4 cm. So here I am sitting around like a ticking time bomb, waiting for labour to start. I have to say the next number I hope to hear is 10...but that might be asking too much. So is wanting this baby. I think I've come to the conclusion that I may just be pregnant for the rest of my life (well at least the rest of this month!) Pray for me!

Frustration

Yesterday I woke up at 4am (thanks Joel) and was experiencing some contractions. Nothing steady, but definitely more painful than normal. They were fairly inconsistent, but I was hoping that they would change into more fruitful contractions. When we woke up at 8am, it was evident that these contractions were definitely intense, although somewhat irregular. We hoped yet again that someone would come of these. I contracted fairly steadily all morning (and yes, I tried unsuccessfully to hide these at church) and then they stopped at about 1:30pm. I had another handful of these braxton hicks in the afternoon and went to bed disappointed that there is still no baby. It was a frustrating day. Being in pain for nothing is not something that I wish to do every day. I was telling Dan how frustrating it was to contract all day without a baby to show for it and compared it to being sacked repeatedly every 5-10 minutes without getting to hold a baby at the end of the day. I could see him wince and curl up in a ball as I made this comparison...I think he understood.
I had this same frustrations before Joel was born. A whole day (also a Sunday) of contractions, more intense than the normal braxton hicks without a baby or actual labour at the end of the day. Then two days later, he came flying out. Perhaps that will happen again, or perhaps I'll be pregnant for another 17 days. But either way, sometime in the next 7-17 days there WILL be a baby. I guess not going into true labour yesterday was a blessing in disguise since the one midwife I haven't really met was on call on Sunday. This morning at 10, they switch and the midwife I love (and want to be at my birth) is on call. Maybe just maybe, this baby will come today......or perhaps it'll be in 17 days. Whichever it is, I WILL get me a baby sooner or later!

Please God make it sooner!!!

Silly Reasons why the baby should show up soon

I have a ton of real reasons why this baby should arrive soon. You know, the usual. I'm uncomfortable, its due date is fast approaching, I really don't want to work tomorrow etc. But I also have a few unconventional reasons why this baby needs to come.
1. My shirts don't fit. Slowly over the last few weeks, I have lost shirt after shirt to the "do not fit" pile. I really only have about 6 shirts that cover my low lying belly...and two of those are long sleeve. So baby, I need you to come so that my clothes will fit. Or at least, I won't be showing my belly anymore.
2. I ran out of processed cheese. I know, its silly. But its my pregnancy craving food at the moment and I just finished eating the last slice.
3. If the zombie apocalypse comes, there is no way I can out run the zombies.
4. I really want fruit loops. But that involves a trip to the store (and the fear that my water could break or I could go into labour while I walk there) and the possibility that I won't be able to finish the box before the baby comes. Then I would waste food. And that sucks.
5. I'm a type A personality. And I've got everything ready for this baby. So now I'm getting bored cuz there is nothing more to organize.

Yep, those are my reasons why the baby needs to show up soon. Plus, who can resist a cute little gaffer?

Crescent Beach

Playing on the beach for the first time

Belly Shot!

Boat?!

Splashing Grandma

Bike Trip

Joel and his buddy Cody in the bike trailer about to go on a bike trip around Fish Trap Creek.

Both boys holding up their helmets so that they could see. Soon after this shot, they were holding hands while trying to prop up their helmets with their free hands. So cute!

2 weeks away from her due date and out biking! Just about killed her! Do you think she's trying to induce labour or something?

Happy Mother's Day

This is something I came across today and it brought me to tears. (dang pregnancy hormones!) But I think it speaks so well to so many.

An Open letter to Pastors on Mother's Day

Originally found at: http://messymiddle.com/2012/05/10/an-open-letter-to-pastors-a-non-mom-speaks-about-mothers-day/  

"To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you. To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you."

I would love to add, "To those who treat others children like they are your own, we thank you."
This past year, I have been truly blessed by friendships with people who take care of my son as if he was their own child. They teach him, laugh with him, snuggle him, discipline him, play with him and love him. They all have a unique way of interacting with him and its a beautiful thing to see. They have a way of drawing out a part of him that we as parents can't. Its awesome to see him discover new things with all of you. There are times as a mother that you feel as though you can't give another ounce to your child because of exhaustion, but there are our friends picking up the slack when we can't. We have been so encouraged this year. We have felt your love, your support and your prayers. This Mother's Day, we salute you. Thank you for being there for us, for Joel and for our family.  You guys rock!

When the best of intentions are foiled

I had some great intentions this morning.
I did a load of laundry and hung it outside.
I had prepped lunch early so we could go to the playground and spend the maximum amount of time there.
I was about to text a friend to join us at the playground so the kids could play together.
Then these little words spoiled it all: Its raining!
No playground. No time with friends. Laundry still hanging outside, just getting a bit wetter. Sometimes things like that just happen. We really can't control circumstances. But we can change our attitude about it. So instead of worrying about wet laundry, I'm leaving it outside hoping that the weather will change. Instead of playing outside, the kids are playing animals in the living room (and loving every minute of it). Instead of seeing friends this morning, they'll be here in the evening for dinner and the Big Bang Party.

I guess this is similar to waiting for our baby to arrive. We have the best of intentions. We can choose the "perfect" day in which we would love our new baby to arrive. But its not always the best day for the baby, or the day that God has chosen. We would love to see this baby arrive early, so that Grandpapa can come and visit on the long weekend and see his new grandchild. We would love to have a week or so of recovery before he arrives, to adjust to this new life. We would love this baby to arrive early so that our friends who are leaving for the Philippines can meet our new arrival.  We would love for the baby to arrive so that we can all be at their commissioning service. But we cannot predict or control when we go into labour. I would love to know for sure when it happens. So that I can be at home, without River and with a sitter for Joel close by. But alas, that is not to be. When labour hits, it hits. When this baby decides to arrive, it will arrive. Whether its 2 weeks early or 10 days late. The greatest intentions are just that: intentions. But I can control my attitude about it all. I can choose to think positive. I can choose to have many contingency plans in place for when labour actually hits. I can remain hopeful that the baby will arrive early, but continue to be realistic and know that I will probably be overdue. So for now, I will continue to live life as normally as possible, praying regularly for the safe arrival of our second child.

For Future Reference...

Joel, cucumber slices belong in your mouth, not in the toaster.

Wheeeeeeeeee!

One small boy. One open car window. One unadulterated session of glee. 

The wind in his hair. Happy dance in his car seat. Squeals of Wheeeeeeeeeee!

It really doesn't take much to make this boy happy.